Top 5 Ways to Be Better in Bed as a Man

Far too often these days a guy can suffer from not performing well in the sack, and leaving his woman let down and looking for hot beef injections elsewhere. Seven minutes in heaven has slowly decreased to three minutes in disappointmentville.

On a mission to find out what works and what doesn’t, Hardboss hit up the Everything to Do with Sex Show in Toronto to try and shed some light on the situation. After consulting with porn stars, dildo shuckers and perverts, here are the top 5 ways to be better in bed as a man.

5. Join the Adult Film Industry

Everyone loves porno, even if they’re too shy to admit it. But what about becoming an adult film star and making your own movies? According to Maxine X, Canada’s top fetish porn star, joining the industry is much easier for woman than it is for man (no shit). But if you’re truly interested, “it might be a good idea to get an agent in L.A. who can help you find work. Otherwise, you can start your own business and make your own films – that’s what I do!” she said in a sexy, flirty way. So fellas, dust off that old family video camera and disguise it as a ‘romantic candle’ beside your bed. Not only will you be able to critique your own performance on playback, but you may be able to make a little money on the side as well.

Helpful tips: Current male porn stars use tricks like masturbating profusely before their scene to get a longer performance, taking hardening shots directly into their units (quiver…), and practice, practice, practice. While this may be considered an extreme option to solve your lovemaking troubles, never rule out the possibility for fame and fortune.

4. Pop Pills

Every guy has thought about taking Viagra, they’re just too scared to tell their doctor how soft their noodle gets. But, apparently there are ways of getting pills that don’t require a signature from a doctor and all the awkwardness that comes along with it. Pure Pillz (www.purepillz.ca) offers four different types of pills you can pop to pop a bigger boner– Freq, Perq, Rush and Spun. Freq, is a good ‘entry-level’ pill which will give you a body buzz and allow you to see tracers. Perq, is more like legalized speed and will make you want to get your sex on often. When mixed with alcohol it should also allow you to last longer when having said drugged-out smash session. Finally, Rush, has the lowest “speed-y” effect with just enough Sgt. Peppers psychedelic-ness to get you high while you bone.

Helpful tips: If you don’t want to trip balls while dipping balls, another option is to race down to your local GNC and pick up Extenze or Xplo2ion pills. The Extenze pills push more blood to your Johnson and allow for an even bigger steamer. Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, you may want to try out Xplo2ion which doubles your shot count. Think about shooting two bullets, but at the same time. The only possible side effect to this, however, is there may be a little pain, as you’re basically shooting mayonnaise through a syringe…

3. Romance and Putting on the Brakes

According to Sienna Sinclaire: International Fetish Model and Mistress, a guy should, “take time with his woman. Start with kissing, because kissing has become a lost art. Men are usually more ready than woman are, so take more time with foreplay to get her warmed up.” You have to give to get, basically, regardless of how much work that might involve. A massage almost always works to put a woman in the mood, just be sure to limit your touching to everywhere except her bull’s-eye.

Helpful tips: Sienna explained the best sex trick she’d ever witnessed was performed by her boyfriend in high school. When he was close to hitting a home run, he’d pull out, count to ten, and resume pitching. Sounds awesome!

2. I Don’t Wanna Grow Up, I’m a Sex Toys R’ Us Kid…

These days it seems like it’s only acceptable for women to buy sex toys, but who is to say a guy can’t dip into the fun too? Makers of the Cosmic Cockring are sure on board with a little toy that will help you pleasure your girl and make the moment last longer. There are variations of the products – one uses magnets to delay the inevitable, where as another has built-in (somewhat distracting) vibrations.

Helpful tips: All Cosmic cockrings are pocket-sized, so having one on you when you go out to the local pub is totally doable. Just make sure you don’t accidentally hand it to the bartender when you’re leaving a tip.

1.    Get Out of Your Own Head (not that head)

The best advice given to help men get their mojo on was from Carrie Moon, who is one of Canada’s Top MILFs and has been in the escort business for over 30 years now. She explained, “it’s all mental, 90% between the ears. Whatever you’re imprinted with, only you can change that. I’m not a mind reader!” So there you have it, take it from the pro of all pros.

Helpful tips: Whatever fears and anxiety are running through your mind are probably the reason you suck in the sack. If you concentrate too hard on your shortcomings in your head, you’re destined for short ‘cummings’ in the bedroom.

– Matt Snider